As I Get Older, I Say WTAF At Least A Dozen Times A Day

TRUTH!

Seriously, I don’t understand anything anymore. I mean I know what WTAF means (so that’s something), and say it a LOT. But all out in full, with an emphasis for the most part on the ACTUAL. Frequently in my car, but also in the street, the store, the office and whichever circumstance and situation I find myself in. Every single day, I say it. Because I genuinely don’t seem to understand anything anymore.

Kevin Hart Says What We Are All Thinking, Right?

What happened to basic driving skills like indicating when you are going to pull in front of someone? Or, I don’t know, just picking one lane to drive in? Stopping at a red light. That’s a deal breaker for me. I mean no one can accuse me of being a lawful driver. I have the (paid) fines to prove it. But C’MON! A red light is a basic. Something that just about keeps us civilized. And now am I to understand that it doesn’t count anymore?

God knows I hoot a lot in my lengthy 8-minute drive to work in the morning. As cars just sail through those red lights I lean on my hooter. Then, because I know this 1.4km drive like the back of my hand, I prepare my face for when I pull up next to them at the next set of lights, as inevitably happens. Sadly, they never look over, so it’s totally wasted. But it’s ready every day, just in case. Open-mouthed, slack jawed, incredulous, as I think to myself, What The Actual Fuck?

The Version of The WTAF Meme That Is For The Older Folks and Trekkies

I mean it’s the same with the manners of the younger folks. Oh don’t come at me with the #notallmillennials. I know millennials are picked on mercilessly, and I honestly find them a hoot in the main. I like a younger pal to lark around with. No, I am speaking specifically about those less than five years into their working life. They have been raised to believe that they are the centre of the universe, so it is no shock when they literally walk into a conversation between other people and start speaking about what they need. Every single day. Today an otherwise adorable one literally opened cupboard doors between the person I was speaking to and me. Seriously! WTAF?

We Are All This Person, These Days

I say it when the group of people in the street makes no room for me to pass in the opposite direction, so you have to smush up against a wall or step into oncoming traffic. I say it when I catch sight of a really young person with so much cosmetic surgery that they are unrecognizable. I say it when a person in a position of power does something unthinkable and gets away with it. Again. I say it when the guy behind me in the queue gets fed up with me taking up some room that he thinks he should have, and tries to engage with the teller over my shoulder. I say it out of humour, out of anger, out of disbelief, and out of fear. But I say it all the time.

I realise that my time of being in the nexus of society has passed and women of my age are now no longer relevant. So I suppose all of this confusion is to be expected. Turning fifty comes with a realization that I am no longer the future; I am (thankfully) still a bit of the present and mostly the past. And I’m ok with that. Let someone else roar, I say. But can we at least be respectful to each other? Say excuse me, stop at an absolutely red light and wait our turn? That will make this transition to old age a little more bearable for me, I think. I mean I’m keeping up with the pop culture references, so I’m doing my part. Can you all do yours?

I have never felt so old as reading this back. I suspect I have just become my age. I said good day, sir.