As I Get Older, I Understand How To Do Less

Lessons in the "Do Less" Style Philosophy. Wear a Dress and Trench With Sneakers and a Bucket Hat.

Of late I have started saying "do less' a lot more. It's a quote from one of my favourite movies, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (watch it if you haven't already. It's up there with Withnail and I). And what I mean by it is that all too often we try too hard. Trying too hard feels desperate on the inside. It looks intense and stressful on the outside. And way too often it leads to self sabotage. You try so hard that you mess it all up. And for me, I can understand this best when expressed as an outfit. An over-worked, over-thought, striving-for-perfection outfit just feels all too try-hard, and that, my friends, is the opposite of style. True style, the holy grail of style, is a slightly insouciant combination of items that look like you - and only you - threw them together on a whim, without too much thought, and carry them off through sheer force of your personality and a soupçon of panache.

Robyn (and dear Gavin) in Her Beach-Ready Outfit. Unexpected? Well That's Style!

How do you achieve this? Well, here are three lessons in doing less, in an outfit:

1. We all know that a classic white tee and washed out jeans with some Chuck Taylors is supposedly an iconic stylish outfit. But for me, anyone can put that together. Every 'safe' fashion brand, for all eternity, will sell you that style story. But when Katharine Hepburn unexpectedly embraced masculine tailoring and paired it with a feminine blouse, she established a style for the ages. Style is what works uniquely for YOU. My first piece of advice is to always take notice when someone says "that colour really suits you," rather than the more familiar, "I love that colour." Or when they say, "that's my favourite outfit on you," rather than, "I love that dress." People are generally self-oriented, but when something is perfect for you, they are forced out of it to acknowledge you in something stand-out. Build the rest of your style around that as a departure point.
2. There needs to be an element of imperfection to your outfits. If every item in your look 'matches' you had better be going for the monochrome look, and then things need to be a bit baggy - nothing says "I'm not trying" more than an easy-fit. (Also, for those that care, you look slimmer in looser clothes. FACT.) If you prefer a really fitted look, then clash on your colours. Layer an orange fitted jacket over a turquoise skinny trouser. Or a bold floral print skin tight dress. And then pair the dress with a sneaker. Or, even better, a pair of Dr Martens. 90s style was BUILT on this combo. If anything about your outfit screams 'perfect' swap something up. Oh and NEVER wear a matching set of jewellery. Seriously. Just don't.
3. Really do less. Play with what you already have in your wardrobe but mix the items up in different ways. I've discovered some of my most memorable looks by just playing with combinations of things I already own. Try anything. And also, do the unexpected. A black felt fedora was never meant for summer at the beach, but when it's the only hat you have to keep the sun off your face, you use it it - and work it to the max with a black wide leg trouser and black tee. I have never felt more beach-ready in my life. This summer, I urge you to wear a bucket hat - with a suit, if you can carry it. A pink tie-dye hoodie with a mini pencil skirt and heels (as discussed Kerry.) Just take one high-fashion item and throw it on with any one of your 'boring' daily looks, and see how the unexpected, non-matching item can transform you into a fledgling style icon. Have fun with it - it's just style!

Bucket Hats and Suits. Floral Dresses and Docs. It's All Just Some Fashion Fun.

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I do think that it is worth mentioning that 'doing less' is both a style- and a life-choice for me as I get older. I have spent so much of my life working hard, trying hard, being hard and getting my validation from hours spent slaving, being the best, and trying to be perfect, exceeding people's expectations, whilst not looking like I'm trying (it came in useful with style!). My weird internal programming has always told me that I am not enough to be loved just as I am, so I need to be the best, the coolest, to be loved. And I totally spin out at the prospect of not being these things.

It's a crazy way to live but the only one that I knew. Now every single day I try and remind myself that I am more effective when I actually do less. When I give something a whirl and see how it goes, rather than care passionately about winning, and winning praise. I'm cool whether I win or not, whether I get everything right or not. Ultimately, doing less is an act of self care that also happens to make me more caring to others. Doing less is the unexpected for me. But I have to keep reminding myself. Over and over again. It's not easy to change a habit of a lifetime.