As I Get Older, I Want to Write It Down

Photographer Osborne Macharia's League of Extraordinary Grannies - They Have Stories to Tell!

I used to have a fashion blog – you may even have read it occasionally. I started it in 2008 and StyleGuideCT landed up being one of the most fun things I have ever done in my life. It was a five-year door-opener to people, places and jobs that I never imagined that I would have access to. I had to give it up eventually. I got a big corporate job that really demanded a lot from me and I made the decision to shutter StyleGuideCT until I had more time. Also, at that time in 2014, blogs and blogging had evolved to a place that didn’t sit right .

But I have really missed it. I can be moved to tears by kind people who tell me, even today, how they used to enjoy reading it as part of their morning routine. Unfortunately, I know that I can’t go back. Life has moved on, you and I have both changed, and there are other things that make for daily diversions, news sources and entertainment that fill that space now.

That's me, a blogger and a Cosmo Twitter Queen, circa 2011

Yet, the urge to write it all down has got too loud to ignore. One of the amazing things about StyleGuideCT was that I married my love of fashion and celebrity with my drive to express myself through written word. When I shortlist the things I do for fun these days, writing is right up there on the list. It gives me so much clarity. And I find I have a lot to say. Of course about fashion, style, life, humour and the things that bug me. But mostly what I want to express is how overwhelming it is to be an old person in a young mind. The shock of finding myself about to turn fifty, when I feel twenty eight, is like waking up to find yourself in The Handmaid’s Tale’s Gilead. Except that it is real life. And Gilead may actually still happen.

I Advocate For Equality for All, But Especially Women.
Photo: Gavin van den Berg Photography

And while I still love to celebrate beautiful people in gorgeous fashion, what I want to talk about the most as a fifty-year-old, is the reality of life. In all its muckiness. And boy is it mucky. Yes, I intend to talk about social politics. I will talk about the things that no one tells you about getting old. I will reminisce about my younger years. And I will tell you funny stories. What a privilege to get to my ripe old age with brilliant stories to tell.

Robyn Cooke Sips Tea (Gather Round Children, For I Have Tales to Tell...)
Photo: Simon Hartley

It’s the most utterly self-indulgent thing that I have ever embarked upon. And if five of you follow along then I know that my expectations have been exceeded. Because ultimately I am doing this for myself, to make sense of this weird new phase of my life. I blinked and here I landed. Fifty. When I don’t feel old enough to take care of another live thing, I somehow turned into an elder. I don’t know how it happened. Hopefully writing this will help.